Happy New Year

I know it’s a day early but we have to be prepared for these things, so the planning for my New Year’s Resolutions has already begun.

I deliberately bought just enough cigarettes yesterday to last me right through till New Year’s Day morning, whereupon I shall wake up and say “Yay…I’m a non smoker” and then proceed to kill someone.

I have half a box of wine left which I intend to guzzle greedily throughout the day, after which I shall kiss the empty box goodbye, take it to the garden, throw it in the chimenea, and put a match to it. As the flames go up I shall be chanting this:

Oh, wine.

I think the comma may be in the wrong place, but nevertheless, it has to be repeated at a considerable speed for several seconds. It will help, apparently.

I’ve signed up for Gillian McKeith’s ‘Bootcamp’ and will be sent daily emails for two weeks in which she will order me to get off me big fat ass and do something which requires more energy than tapping on a keyboard or picking my nose. She recommends 40 minutes of exercise at least 3 times per week, but preferably daily. So my mornings will start with a brisk stroll (I won’t have to worry about trying to walk quickly; it’s a natural occurrence in this neighbourhood). I have no idea what else she will recommend till the morning, but I’ll let you know.

I’ve just shopped online at Sainsbury’s and bought sixty quids worth of  stuff which Ms. McKeith recommended for someone like me: mung beans, lentils, kale, pak choi, blueberies, miso soup, puy lentils, quinoa, whole grains, nuts, seeds, figs, prunes and vegetable bouillon; together with enough fruit and veg to sink a ship.

(Shit. I forgot the toilet roll.)

Apparently I also needed B Vitamins, rosemary, ginger, nettle tea and organic cod and salmon.

So, I’m all set and raring to go. Wish me luck, please, because I’ll need it.

On a final note…

This time last year (on New Year’s Eve) I had a broken foot. I had plans, but they all went pear shaped.  You can read about what happened HERE.

So this year, I shall try again to capture my New Year’s Eve Firework Photographs.  If I succeed without falling over a fridge or flopping my tits out or falling down the stairs, I’ll post the photos in the morning.

Wishing you all a healthy, happy, invigorating 2010

With Love,



37 Responses to “Happy New Year”

  1. On that diet you may find your consumption of toilet roll drops dramatically…

    Happy New Year!

  2. Akelamalu says:

    I gave up smoking on New Years Day too – 12 years ago – it’s a good day to start! If you are determined enough and really want to do it you will m’deario. Good luck!

    Last year my resolution was to lose weight which I did – 16lbs. This year my resolution is the same but as I’m going on a Caribbean Cruise on the 13th January I won’t be starting my diet until February, but I will do it – I’ve got 24lbs to lose!

    I hope all your resolutions and plans come to fruition next year honey and I wish you a Happy and Healthy one.

    Much love. xxxx

    • Elaine says:

      Dieting and Cruises do NOT go together! Wow…you’re going to have a fabulous start to the year, Ak. Make sure you take that camera with you.

      Wishing you both all the best for 2010. xxx

  3. Rach says:

    Good luck Laney, though I would be very scared of the food concoction you have there.

    Happy New Year and hope it’s the best ever for you…xx

    • Elaine says:

      It’s a little scary, Rach, but I’ve been lookin at recipes and it’s not half as difficult as I’d imagined it to be. All I need to do is stick to it for a while!

      Happy New Year. Hope it’s a healthy and happy one for you. x

  4. D says:

    Happy New Year to you Laney too, fridges allowing. And by the sounds of it you’ll be blogging from that little room in the house for the first part of next year. Hope the fireworks go up a treat. D x

    • Elaine says:

      Happy New Year, D! x

      The fridge, thankfully, was removed, however there were no fireworks this year which was a shame. I did contemplate taking photos of BBC1 at midnight :)

  5. lady in red says:

    I think even if I could afford all those ingredients I wouldn’t know what to do with them.

    good luck with the diet and giving up smoking and wine.

    happy new year Elaine

    • Elaine says:

      Happy New Year. LIR!

      The shopping was actually cheaper than I anticipated, and a lot of it (herbs, spices, stock cubes etc) will obviously last a lot longer than a week. I just hope I’m as enthusiastic in week two as I am today!

  6. Flowerpot says:

    Sounds a very positive start to the year Laney. Good luck with it all! Take care, FPxxxx

  7. Suldog says:

    Elaine, the very best of luck! I’ll even say a prayer for your success! Coming from an unrepentant reprobate such as myself, I don’t know how much good it will do, but I’ll say it nevertheless.

  8. Just stopped in to wish you the best of New Year’s Laney!

    I’m just heading out to go running now.

    (Oh why does the fat jiggle when one runs? Don’t answer that. lol)

  9. JD says:

    To be perfectly honest…A picture of you falling down the stairs with your tits out might be kinda hilarious..Not for you of course, but I`d love to see that….well, at least the tits out part.
    I think you might be biting off more than you can chew, but my best wishes and hopes are with you!
    Ciggies (nicotine)is the MOST addictive drug there is!!!
    And hon, believe me…at one time or another…I`ve done just about every illegal drug there is. When it was time to stop….I did…..
    But not the damm nicotine…..Maybe if you can be a motivating force, I can follow your lead..

    BUT…….I`m not giving up all my little pleasures…..
    If you can quit…I`ll fly over and give you a big hug….

    • Elaine says:

      Can’t you fly over and give me a hug anyway? I can’t promise to fall down the stairs for you, but….

      Happy New Year, Jim. Hope you get everything you’re dreaming of. xxx

  10. Fluffycat says:

    Good luck with the new eating… at the very least you sound organized about it which is a good thing. At least getting off to the right foot.

    I am guessing it’s already new years’ day there if what I remember of time differences is true, so I hope you are having a great new year so far!

    • Elaine says:

      Happy New Year to you!

      Yes…I am starting off the year extremely well organised. Let’s hope it stays that way :)

  11. dont kick the dog says:

    Happy new year …good luck with the cigs and wine diet .oh sorry thats mine .so good luck with the detox and ill see you in a few weeks where we will drink wine and smoke like chimneys !!!lol only joking good luck and if it works for you ill try it so cheers im having a glass of bubbly i worked all night !!! luv ya xxxx

    • Elaine says:

      Hope you enjoyed the bubbly.

      I’m sitting here right now with a bowl full of soya yoghurt, strawberries, blueberries and prunes. It tastes surpisingly edible!

  12. Fusion says:

    Good luck with the ciggies and wine (I have never smoked, but giving up my wine? I couldn’t!).
    Have a bright and happy new year Laney!

  13. I hope it went swimmingly for you and the ciggies are now a thing of the past. I don’t do ciggies or wine (or alcohol at all for that matter).

    Hope it’s a great year. Looking forward to your fabulous posts and the many laughs you give me.

    Best wishes, CJ xx

    • Elaine says:

      Aww thanks CJ. x

      Although I’ve started on the healthy eating plan, the fags are staying with me till Monday, which is when I go back to work. I didn’t want to try and fail this weekend, what with having not a lot to keep me occupied, so today is my official last day.

      Yikes!

  14. Jo says:

    Mung beans? Lentils?

    Sounds like a fast track to windy-pops town :D

    Happy New Year to youuu and Ms McKeith.

    • Elaine says:

      Thanks Jo! I shall pass on your good wishes to her :)

      (She hasn’t asked for a poo in the post yet, so that’s something to be thankkful for).

  15. rosiero says:

    YOU FORGOT THE TOILET ROLL???????!!!!

  16. marmitetoasty says:

    I LOVE lentils………

    good luck with all your hopes …….. :) just off now to make lentil and stilton bake LOL

    x

  17. Heather says:

    The very best of luck to ya. Happy New Year!

  18. Karl says:

    Happy New Year Laney,

    I wish you luck you’re taking on a lot, concentrating on the cigarettes and the exercise should be the big ones on your list. Once you get the one, out of your life and the other into your life the rest will come easy.

  19. maureen says:

    Sounds like you are going to be a very busy girl working on all those resolutions.
    I am glad you are going to give up smoking (CANCER) but otherwise I think you are perfect the way you are.
    Happy New Year Lanie.
    xoxo

  20. Deb says:

    Ah, and this is why I came back to blogging. I just love your writing and you can make me laugh even when I don’t want to so…thank you. I have missed my blogging buddies. You’re a good bunch of people. And I can’t wait to hear how bootcamp works out. If I didn’t live across the puddle I would join you ! Happy New Year !

  21. Nicholas says:

    Hope 2010 is treating you well.

  22. So; how’s the resolutions going???

    Hope you’ve given the smokes the flick; I thought I might give it a go too,but quickly gave that idea up New Years day. They are cutting me off the parenting pension in a few weeks though, so I’m just going to Have to.

    As for the wine; I’ll never give it up.

    At least not until I’m happily pickled…

    RN xx

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