It’s been one of those days.
I left home this morning at 8:15 to get the bus to work. It was due at 8:20 but arrived at 8:45. I got to work 55 minutes later ( in a car it is just a ten minute journey). I encountered road works, temporary traffic lights, rush hour, screaming snotty kids with their loud-mouthed and ignorant mothers, road rage, and to top it off – a yawning driver who mounted the pavement at least twice. It was hell on earth.
At work, I turned on my computer and was informed I had a virus of massive proportions. After clicking on boxes to try to shrink them, close them or get rid of them, I was directed to porn dot com and spent the next hour staring at a pair of tits (amongst other things) whilst on the phone to my IT department. It seems I’ve been had ‘good and proper’ and they’re sending me a new ‘puter in the morning. So it was no paperwork for me today – which sounds like a wonderful thing, but in reality it means I’ll have twice as much to do tomorrow. I’ve also been haunted by one particular gruesome image involving about 14 women and a sheep, and I’m not entirely sure I’ll be able to look at one in the same way again.
(A woman, not a sheep. I happen to like sheep….and well, we all know they have ‘bits’. The sheep didn’t look to bothered about it, to be honest.)
So, I spent a lot of the day writing Christmas cards to all of the students in my block while simultaneously dealing with the doorbell ringing and people visiting and the postman calling and people booking up for next year. I’m pretty sure that some of my cards have been signed “Love and Kisses, Laney” instead of “Best Wishes, Elaine.” I may have even added kisses and little hearts, and called my maintenance man Patricia instead of Martin. Oh well. Most of them are Internationals and probably won’t understand it all anyway. I wrote a note for Patricia Martin today which said “Flat 10, washing machine broken” after a student came down and complained. I spent 5 minutes apologising to him and said we’d get it sorted, and it was only afterwards I realised that the students don’t have bloody washing machines. He must have meant the dishwasher.
Unless of course he was trying to wash his clothes in the dishwasher.
I got home an hour ago to a stench of shit. Yep – that manky feral cat who lives on the estate has been up to his old tricks again. He shat on my sofa this time, and all over the floor in front of the Christmas tree.
The Christmas tree went up at the weekend. I stupidly stupidly bought it last year and paid £100 for it. It looked so pretty in the shop – 6ft of Alaskan beautifullness, all covered in pretty white snow. The trouble is, that bloody snow comes off and floats in the air for about six weeks, covering absolutely everything in a thin film of dust. If you were to visit (please don’t) you’d assume I was a lazy, good for nothing slob who hasn’t picked up a duster in a decade.
I haven’t bought a single christmas card yet, nor a present. How many days are left? Bugger if I know.
Bah Humbug.
On a good note……
Ummmmm….
Blossom Hill is three for eight quid at the moment……
God bless you, darlin’. If I were you, I’d use the feral cat as a duster. Either that, or wipe up the cat shit with the tree. As for the sheep… well, just be glad they weren’t ducks (wink, wink.)
I would actually get great satisfaction from shoving a broom up it’s arse.
If the sheep had been a duck I fear the entire episode would have ended with a funeral. (But women a l’orange would have looked quite good.)
You’re so cute Laney! When your computer gets fixed, email me ok?
I should be setting up my facebook page by the end of the week. I want to add you to my thingie.
Whatever a thingie is. I dunno yet. I’m a facebook virgin. Lol.
My home computer is fine, Shelly. I’ll email you after work.
Yay! Shelly on Facebook! I can’t wait
I would love for you to add me to your thingie. x
The Blossom Hill must be gut rot at that price. Is it any good?
The New Zealanders know all about sheep. They can pick the better looking ones.
The feral cat needs serious attention if it can get into your house and leave presents like that. It may seem cruel but is there an equivalent to a Dog Catcher who catches cats, in your area?
When I used to lie under house refitting the foundation stumps. [don't worry it is an Aussi thing] we used to say Cat shit was the worst type of shit to roll in. 10 Times worse than doggy poo.
When did you say Christmas was, I had completely forgotten it was on again this year.
Woof x
It’s normaly about four pounds a bottle and it’s not bad – kind of light and fruity.
Cat poop is the worst smelling poop on the planet, and I should know because this has happened so many times now. I don’t know if we have a cat catcher, but I’m toying with Suldog’s idea… x
I sure hope my card says love and kisses.
Put a contract out on that cat.
I like it when you get a little testy.
Shelly, before you know it..all kinds of people will want to be on your thingie.
I can’t write on here what your card says
Will you come and kneecap the cat for me?
I actually sizzle when I’m testy, Jim. (And when I’m on someone’s thingy.) x
OK now…..this thingie thing is getting me thinking.
Just the thingy thing, or me getting ‘on’ the thingy thing?
I shouldn’t have asked that should I? x
BOTH!
Blame Shelly, she`s the one that started this whole thingy thing anyway.
But, I`d be more than happy to discuss any old thingie with you any time.
Make sure Shelly knows about keeping her thingie up to date.
Geeeze, now that I`m all fired up…I wanna be on Shellys thingie.
Laney I am now left with the image of a boy of Asian persuasion pegging out his clothes across the dishwasher rack as he believes it to be a washer/dryer. I think your IT department perhaps needs to review it’s protection software too
Your image would not have been far wrong!
Alas, I can’t really blame the IT department. I was informed that the virus protection had expired, but by the time I got round to finding out where to order it and who was paying for it, it was too late. The bastards got in soooo quick.
i came i sang …and no f..ing christmas card …bahh humbug !!!! x
It ain’t fucking Christmas yet!
And do you really call that singing? Are you wondering why NOT ONE SINGLE PERSON has commented on it? LOL! xxx
JD – I WILL TALK TO SHELLY ABOUT THE THINGY!
Do the large caps mean you are yelling at me?
NO! IT MEANS I PRESSED THE WRONG KEY.
Holy smolie! An entire comment section dedicated to thingies!
I think signing onto facebook really sucks my thingie when I use my cell phone! Me thinks I need a real computer like a normal person again!
I will try to update by next week hopefully.
(sorry for hogging your comment section with my thingy! )
Your thingy can hog my section anytime
Set it on vibrate!
And what fun it`s been devoting an entire comment section (on Lanies blog..he he he) to deal with your thingie thing.
Personally, I think more could be touched on regarding your thingie.
Christmas cards, cat shit, and FB thingies.
There’s gottta be a book or movie title in there somewhere…
In my world, that cat would already be gone, maybe not dead but definitely gone.
I guess we all have off days!! I think I would be ready to remove that cat from society by now, cat shit absolutely stinks and especially in the house. You poor thing.
Hope the puter gets sorted for you.
CJ xx
Break a branch off that overpriced Christmas tree and shove it up that feral cat’s arse, then sweep the chimney with it ready for Santa to deliver you something nice.