Following on from my entry “It’s a sad sad world,” which told of a few of my encounters with some over ambitious men, I thought I’d expand on it a little.
The pictures you can see of me with long curly hair? I’ve always looked like that, (it used to be longer.) I think I must have been born with this mop on my head, and it somehow became a part of my anatomy. The thought of changing the style never crossed my mind – it was just ‘me.’
They say first impressions count. People always make judgements on the way you look before they get to know the person inside. And because my hair is so wild – it has a life all of its own – and it’s rather unstylish, (in a Vogue front cover kind of way,) men would assume I had a personality to match. Ok, I can be quite loud. And I am a friendly, bubbly kind of girl. But they seemed to automatically think I was ‘up for it.’ Having a full mane of hair seemed to get me instantly noticed and drew rather a lot of attention…especially in the establishments I was frequenting (predominantly the local pubs, rather than the trendy wine bars.)
I started to notice how women with short hair seemed to get less attention from these men than women with long hair. While they’d be sitting at tables having interesting conversations with presentable men, and looking stylish and attractive, I’d be fighting off a bunch of hardened drinkers who thought their luck was in. I came to the conclusion that I probably looked more ‘approachable’ to them. The other women seemed to give off an air of sophistication and intelligence, and the guys would never even try their luck.
Don’t’ get me wrong – I was flattered by the attention I was getting, but no one ever took me seriously. I longed for an intelligent conversation. I longed to be approached by a guy who treated me with a bit of respect and was interested in ‘me’ rather than what I looked like. I got it into my head that if I changed my image I’d stand more of a chance of meeting someone who wanted to get to know the person inside.
So, by the time I’d reached thirty, I’d made my decision and took a trip to the hairdressers. I sat in the chair and told her to cut it.
“How much do you want off?”
“All of it.”
“All of it?”
“Yep. The lot.”
She looked at me, slightly worried, but proceeded to chop at it, hacking off foot long strands and dropping them to the floor. Because it’s so curly, the back looked awful – it was sticking up in all directions, so the only option was to shave it really close to my neck. When she’d finished, it was about an inch long all over…apart from the back which was only millimetres. I walked out of there feeling optimistic…and very naked.
My assumption had been right. My girlfriends loved my new image. One said I looked like I’d stepped out of a magazine. The men, however, stared blankly at me and then muttered the words “what the hell have you done?”
The next few months were strange. No more beeping of car horns as I walked down the street. No more wolf whistles from builders. And not one guy turned his head when I walked into the pub. So there I’d sit, blending into the background, watching some other long-haired girl lapping up the attention. It annoyed me that I was still the same person inside, but not one man gave me a second look.
When I met my husband, I would notice his reactions to other women. Driving along the street, his head would turn at the mere sight of a woman’s flowing locks tumbling over her shoulders. She’d always be worth a look in the wing mirror. But unless a short haired girl was wearing next to nothing or had a peach of an ass, she would pass unnoticed. Eventually, it became a bit of a joke, and his head turning became more animated, just to let me know his preference. When we decided to marry, I agreed to grow it back for the wedding. He thought I was doing it for him, but secretly I was beginning to miss the attention. Yeah, I know, I’m vain!
So now it’s back, (almost,) to the length it used to be. And fair enough, I don’t get nearly as much attention as I used to, (I’m eight years older now.) But I get a little. The occasional smile. The odd ‘once over’ from someone sitting at the bar. The wolf whistles stopped a long time ago, but I do feel more ‘feminine’ when I stroll down the street. And lately, the reaction to my HNT pics has given me a real boost, (although I suspect that you guys are so nice, you’d have left me comments either way.)
So – all you men out there – do you have a preference? I’m talking first impressions here – what kind of girl normally catches your eye when you’re driving down the road? And I’d love to know what the women think…have you tried both? Did you notice a difference?
I really do like both.I like curly hair to be long and unruly.On the other hand i love women with very short hair.I guess women with long hair do get a first stare but for someone with such beautiful eyes and petite body as yours i would love to see them with really short hair.
xxx
B
I would rather see you with short hair,I am sure that would define your verykissable neck,am i right?i had it short for three years and with gym and all it was so convenient,i agree with Byron if you have nice eyes ( I dont) u must keep it short.
Glad it wasn’t just me – as much as I was compared to Halle Berry when I had my hair cut off, I might was well have looked like Chuck Berry for all the good it did me. The moment I decided to grow out my cut and start wearing a weave, it was as if I had put a sign on my head saying ‘I Want Sex Now’.
When I had short hair it was because I felt confident and sassy. Adding ’sexy’to the mix required my current look: long, bouncy, bedroom-esque hair that looks good tossed and flicked.
I know which style I’m gonna keep! x
Geez, I really don`t have a preference. I do think a long mane is sexy, and it may do for the first glance,get the attention.
I prefer long hair it is an attention getter, and it makes a women look sexier.
A nicely proportioned body is what attracts me to women passing by.
I have always had long hair–at least to my shoulders, and often down to the middle of my back.
My man loves long hair, and like yours doesn’t pay as much attention to short-haired women. The worst, in his eyes, are those who go to the beauty salon and get pouffed-up perms.
I’d say about 80% of the women in my community (at least those under 60) have long hair.
And it looks fabulous on you, Miss U!
I cut my hair last summer to right above my shoulders and my guy friend told me I looked old and he hated it………
Guys like long hair……..
I prefer long hair so I will never cut my hair again
This was a great post. I read it this morning, thought about it in the shower, on the drive to work, and still don’t have a good answer. What attracts me?
Funny, but it isn’t the obvious answer for me. An exposed cleavage, for example, may get my attention sooner but I look away quicker. It is the woman who is perhaps a little more covered up, but in a sexy way, that pulls me in and usually keeps me looking as I follow her around the market. So, I guess while long hair may get my attention sooner, quicker, it won’t keep me if the woman isn’t attractive to me. I love short hair too. Or long hair pulled back or up. The line, the curve of the neck, from ear to shoulder is a hot, hot area.
Still, I have no answer except to say that the long hair certainly works on you. Very well.
I noticed that too! I have cut my hair so short it was shaved in the back. I have also had my hair long.
I don’t get it.
I’m a short hair girl, myself. Some of us are born to long hair and some of us to short. I’m one of the latter. Long hair makes me look like I have no neck.
I will say, though, I’ve had more trouble with choosing to have short hair since moving back to D.C. than I ever had with it in San Francisco. No one in S.F. gives a feck. But in D.C., image is a HUGE part of the whole political package, regardless of whether you actually work in government. All things are politick in this town and how you dress and wear your hair is as important as how many degrees you carry and what your political affiliation is.
Personally, I don’t give a sh**! In fact, somedays I wear my hair in what I call my F*** You! hairstyle–sticking up all over the place with lots of product.
I couldn’t care less what kind of hair-dos people wear. And I try not to judge people by appearance because I’ve been on the receiving end of that shallowness, as has my sister. I always feels sorry for people who dismiss others because of appearance. They’re missing out on getting to know some fabulous folk.
Having said all that, my friend Diana did point out the other day that we all have a primary and a secondary story. Our secondary story generally manifests itself in our outward appearance. If people can’t get past my hair, they won’t be able to hear my primary story–i.e. how skilled and competent I am to work with, etc.
Still, I’m sticking with my short hair. And good for you for sticking with your long hair. Personally, I like you for your mind and wit, not for your hair.
Women cutting their hair is a source frustration for many guys. I have known many women that had the sexiest hair and they cut it because some hirdresser or friend convinced them to do it.
I like long straight blonde hair, down to the bottom of the shoulder blades. Second to that is silky straight brunette about the same length.
Some women, like my wife, look better with shorter hair. She doesn’t cut it too short because she tells me that’s what older women do.
Interesting question. I’d like to say that it doesn’t matter to me at all, but I suspect that I instinctively go for women with long hair. I don’t know why – maybe it’s something primeval! All the better to pull you into my cave with… that kind of thing
I happen to like long hair. It is just my preference. The first thing that will turn my head is any woman wearing stockings, then comes pants with a nice shape then the hair, all in that order. I believe there is something psychologial about short hair though. Most women with short hair are married, work, they may have kids but they are certainly busy enough not to want to put a lot of extra time into long hair. When i was a teenager, her shape and her smile was what attracted me to girls, not the length of their hair. It wasn’t until I got “older” and noticed the differences in “older” women. Short haired women were busy. My wife is and I really don’t like her hair short although I do understand her reasons.
i like women with ummm … hair. ahh, fuck it, bald would be hot too. i like women.
Well I know my husband prefers my hair long. So I have been keeping it long, before I would cut it short in the summers and let it grow a bit in the winter before cutting it again. But I left it long for our wedding and haven’t cut it since. My co-workers have commented on how pretty it is long as well as my husband.
I guess in the end long hair is thought of as more sexy. Thinking back I realized one of my best girlfriends gets tons of attention with her long hair (though I am sure her hot figure and attitude have alot to do with it too.) So it seems that there is something to that.
Great thinking post btw.
~Vix
Who would have thought that a simple entry about hair would have got such interesting comment?
Thanks everyone – you never fail to amaze me with your thoughts and opinions. And again *seriously blushing* thank you so much for the compliments. xxx
By the way – I have to let you know! I have a reader from the UK! He’s just been added to my boy list, so go and check him out…he’s my first one. I know Suze has visited, but she’s like celebrity around here! (Suze – how do you do it?? x)
I like women with short hair as much as wonen with long hair. As long as they like to be sexy that is.
I’ve had short hair all my life, and am now growing it out. I’ve never gotten any complaints, but I don’t cut or grow my hair for anyone but myself.
It’s only hair.
And, you’re beautiful, if people didn’t think so, the comments you received wouldn’t be so personal!
My dad used to always say, “A woman is beautiful if you can picture her bald-headed and she is still beautiful.” Now, I know that is one of the stupidest things ever said, but it does make sense. To me it always meant, if the woman is still beautiful once you get past the distraction of her hair, then she really is beautiful.
Every time my wife has cut her hair — and it was very short at one time — I always had the reaction of “Now, THIS is the best haircut for you” so I was constantly going back and forth and was always in the corner of whatever style she was favoring at the time.
I guess I still haven’t answered the question. Sorry. What a great post, Miss U. Thank you.
One more thing: whenever people have complained about my short hair (as if I’ve asked for their opinion, which I haven’t), I always say, “If like to come over and do every morning for, then I’ll grow it out long. Otherwise, it’s staying short.” And, the length of my hair is an off-limits topic with my family. Whenever my mother or sister have complained about the length or color, I say, “My hair is not up for discussion. Next topic?”
(See, Ms. U–you hit one of my hot buttons! In this case, though, it was a fun thing.)
Ooooh. I’m honoured
Damn, I guess sexy is out for me, I have always had short hair, sometimes extremely short!!! Oh well, I will leave the sexpot thing up to the young women with long hair, and I will just be content to still have hair (and teeth.)
Well, I am so sorry I got to this post late. I am a hairdresser and you guys are talking about my bread and butter here. MEN, please don’t tell the woman you love only long hair. I make my living cutting hair and I have bills to pay. You all could bankrupt me!!!!
I love my hair long. Sounds simple, but no. Mine’s so curly, it doesn’t grow down, it grows out!
Anyhoo… you’re such a beautiful lady, inside and out.
Whatever makes you feel good about yourself, thats what you do!
It is amazing how something as simple as hair can cause so much fuss. I had short hair once, and I hated it.
Robyn – So good to have you back x
Yep – my hair does that too. It’s a bloody nightmare!
Pole Queen – Hell – you’d be sexy if you looked like the girl SP’s Dad was talking about! You’re sex on legs woman!
really any woman turns my head that takes care of herself, i just love woman
It’s true guys tend to like long hair. Like you a few years ago I went from having long permed locks to a very short style. When Alex got back from work he nearly cried.
I suppose it’s much the same as changing your hair colour from blonde to brunette.
(BTW, if you got half a comment before, it’s the cat’s fault he was laying on the keyboard)
Come on babe..post something…we missed you…looking fwd to tmrows HNT
xxx
B
Every single one of my wife’s aunts have their hair cut very short.
I made her promise me to never do this.
Almost every woman aged 50+ has short hair… why rush yourself into that grouping?
Mr. H, I’m well over 50, and my hair goes halfway down to my waist.
I’d let it grow longer, but I hate the split ends, so I have my man cut them off periodically.
No gray puffball-head for me!
T’aint fair, but short spiked hair says to me what Janet K. says. “FU, I have issues, so get lost!” I pay no attention whatsoever to such women. Long hair is super hot on women of any age.
BTW, I have one friend who really did cry when his wife cut, and I know zillions more who bitch about their SO’s short hair. Guys are simple to understand, but women will wonder why their man is losing interest. Chad