A delivery man knocked on my door yesterday and asked me if I would take in some parcels for my scary neighbour who wasn’t at home. “Of course!” I said, which I shortly followed with “blimey, she must have had a windfall!” as I watched him piling them up on my doorstep.
After he left (and whilst having a good old squidge of the parcels, like you do) I realised that although the labels were printed with my neighbour’s address, they weren’t in her name but in the name of the previous tenant who moved out about 2 years ago. They’d been ordered from a home catalogue.
Hmmm.
Later in the afternoon she called to collect her parcels. It was very obvious to her that she’d need to do a bit of explaining and she wasn’t at all backward in coming forward.
“It’s so easy,” she told me. “How often do you get junk mail through the post addressed to the people who lived here before?”
“Quite a lot,” I said, which is true. I get a magazine every month for Canadian holidays, various credit card applications and all sorts of other stuff. If it looks important I’ll write a not known at this address and send it back, otherwise I just throw it away.
“Well,” she told me, “I’m always getting catalogue junk addressed to her, and some of the letters make it bloody obvious that she’s been a previous customer but has just stopped shopping with them. So all I do is tick the box to get another catalogue and send it back. The catalogue arrives, I spend up to the credit limit and that’s that.”
“Surely they catch you out eventually when you don’t pay?”
“Nope. They send the bill and I ignore it. They send another and I ignore that. I wait a few months and when the final demands start appearing I send it back with “not known at this address.”
“Surely they send someone around to check when you moved in?”
“Never…and I’ve been doing it for years! Even if they did I’d deny all knowledge of it. There’s bugger all they can do.”
(My conclusion is that it probably costs the company far more to investigate the case and hire someone to pay her a visit, than the cost of the goods themselves. They probably just write it off at the end of the year in their losses column and put the prices up the following year for everyone else.)
“But most parcels have to be signed for,” I piped up.
“Yeah… a fake signature on one of those crappy hand held computer things which you can’t write properly on anyway. A 4 year old could have signed for it judging by the writing…there’s no proof it was me.”
“Or me, in this case,” I said.
She laughed. “That makes it even easier. You say you gave me the parcels, I say you didn’t. What can they do? Fuck all.”
Bloody hell. And here we are worrying ourselves stupid about credit card fraud, internet fraud, password protection and all that.
I think the only way to protect yourself is to contact all home catalogues which you’ve stopped using and actually cancel your account rather than leaving them dormant. That way they’ll always request proof of id to start them up again. But it’s not just home catalogues….
I can’t count the number of times I’ve moved house and haven’t bothered to contact companies I’ve had previous dealings with. Just think of all those ‘one off’ buys. I ordered a few things online last week from a shop I didn’t even bother to save in my bookmarks! If I moved house it wouldn’t even cross my mind to tell them. I can just imagine the flyer landing on the mat next year:
Elaine, we haven’t seen you for a while. Why not come back today and save 20% on a new spring wardrobe!
Scary, innit?
(I’m sure someone is going to ask me if I’m going to do anything about it. As much as I’d like to be a law abiding citizen, I’m also rather fond of my knee-caps (chubby as they might be), and bearing in mind that her entire family looks like they’ve just walked off the Prisoner Cell Block H set and are in court for GBH more often than I shave my legs, I think I’ll leave things just as they are, thankyouverymuch.)
I wouldn’t touch that one with a ten foot pole. If you get involved with that, you’ll have no life left. Better smile and pretend you don’t understand a thing of it. I keep accepting packages for my neighbor about twice a week and I know something is fishy, but I’m not going to ask any questions.
Elaine I agree I’m far to fond of you to see you lose a knee-cap or any other part of your anatomy, but these thieving bastards make me sick. No matter how you look at it we always end up paying for any company losers….
Jeez, that never would have occurred to me. Glad now that we sold our house to a friend. Good blog.
OMG, it would never have occurred to me. If ever I move, I’ll make sure I inform the catalogue companies, but, as you say, what do you do about the one-offs?
I’m glad catalog companies out here don’t give credit….
I don’t blame you for not getting involved because your neighbors sound like total losers. It makes me wicked angry though – I have been a victim of fraud and have never been able to catch the low life who made me life miserable. If I ever catch them I have my baseball bat ready!
Oh I don’t think my nerves could stand doing that. You have to have quite a bit of confidence really. BR/BR/I stopped taking in parcels for my neighbours as they didn’t bother to call round for them! BR/BR/Have a good dayBR/JS xxx
This infuriates me. Yet another example of how much people suck. Just pretend you never saw the name on the packages and you never had that conversation.
That’s a quick one way ticket to hell I think. Once you start that sor tof thing where do you stop?
Oh my gosh, I can’t believe the nerve some people have!! AND I can’t believe she admitted it to you!! Incredible!!BR/I love your knee caps, please do all you can to protect them
BR/xo
Good Morning Laney,BR/BR/I’m not sure what they would call it in the UK, but in the U.S. now that you know of this, you could be considered an accessory after the fact.BR/BR/If you wish to not take any action, at the very least, if anymore packages show up, refuse to accept them. I can understand you wanting to protect your kneecaps (I bet their cute)but, you should distance yourself from these people for your own protection. BR/BR/ACCESSORY AFTER THE FACT – Whoever, knowing that an offense has been committed, receives, relieves, comforts or assists the offender in order to hinder or prevent his apprehension, trial or punishment, is an accessory after the fact; one who knowing a felony to have been committed by another, receives, relieves, comforts, or assists the felon in order to hinder the felon’s apprehension, trial, or punishment. U.S.C. 18.
Blimey! Hope they don’t read this blog post!!!BR/BR/CJ xx
Bloody hell…….. B L O O D Y – H E L L ….BR/BR/x
Oh for Fuck’s sake I hope that’s the last time you sign for any parcels for her. They might hold you responsible for that little lot if she says you never handed them over!
Lowlifes, they’re everywhere. But you’ve made me think now, because in my parents mail I still get several catalogs a week…
OMFG…what the hell is wrong with people?? I wish I could say I thought it strange that you wrote about the same thing today, too, but it seems to be becoming more and more common. BR/BR/Bastards!BR/BR/Oh…and tell Savage that catalog companies DO give out credit in this country. I get catalogs that say I’ve been “pre-approved” all the time!
Thanks for your comments. And THANKS Karl! LoL.
I have a plan with credit cards, but am waiting until I’m really old and they cant touch me. BR/Keep it under your hat.BR/Mark x
oh my god . dont you sign for anymore love , bastards and your knee caps are lovely , chubby or otherwise .xx
I am furious even though I know it goes on it happened to a friend of mine and they actually tracked her to her forwarding address, she had gods own job of proving she hadn’t ordered anything.BR/BR/Eventually after getting a solicitor involved they managed to prove to the catalogue company that they had moved out long before the first parcel arrived.BR/BR/They had run up over £3000 by the time she became aware of it.BR/BR/It’s just so bloody dishonest and to think they do it with a smile on their faces too….arghhhhh!
Nice scam…BR/Sleazy Bitch…BR/You’ve shown pics of your knee caps?
Holy Cow!BR/BR/Who would have ever thought about this? Good warning from you. And only you would come across a story like this!
You should have kept her parcels!
Wish I’d thought of it; but I’m just too damn honest!BR/BR/x
Where do I sign to get in on this action??? Lol.
Next time packages are left at your place, go over and take the note off the door the parcel company leaves behind. Then, if she comes looking for her packages, simply say, “Fuck all if I know where they are.”BR/BR/Better yet, what almost everyone else said: Don’t bother taking her parcels.BR/BR/Meanwhile, those of us who are law-abiding continue to pay for people like your criminal neighbor. Bastards is right!
these things never cross my mind and l’m always agog that people do this…( am l am l sightly impressed at the size of the cohonas she has, l admit l am, but that doesnt mean l condone it at all) and as far as you go..I wouldnt want to get involved either!