I can’t quite believe a whole year has passed since we said our final farewell to Tim Davies, our friend, who died at just 45 after a long battle with cancer.
I remember those last few days he spent on this earth so vividly, and I know it will continue to be one of the most incredibly moving experiences I have had, or am ever likely to have.
Tim chose to die at home surrounded by his family and friends, and the house was an open house – day and night – leading up to, during, and after his death. Friendships were made during that time which will be life-long. Memories were made which will never be forgotten. Of course it was a time of sadness, but it was also a time of peace and serenity; a time to reflect, a time to laugh, and a time to cry happy tears as well as sad.
I’ve thought about Tim a lot in this past year. We all have. Sometimes it’s hard to believe he has actually gone because the essence of Tim surrounds us constantly. After all, how can someone with such a huge personality just disappear…just like that? Where would all that energy go? I now know that it actually goes nowhere. It lingers; brushes against us, touches our lives when we least expect it to, whispers in our ears the words he would have used had he still been here.
I expected thoughts of Tim to lessen over time, but he’s as real to me now as he ever was. I can still see his face and hear his laughter; I can picture him shaking his head – his mop of dishevelled hair falling over his eyes – at the recent goings on down here. I’m sure he’d have something to say about it all; he always was such a great talker!
And believe me, there have been a lot of ‘goings on’.
I’ve spent my day trying to write what should have been the next paragraph, but I’ve deleted it so many times now, it’s ridiculous. I’ve been staring at this page and trying to work out what it is I want to say and how I should say it. Or if I should even say it at all.
Eight hours on, I think I’m going to leave it where it is. Today is about Tim, and not me. It’s about remembering a fantastic guy who had so much more to give to the world; a guy who I hope is smiling right now at the shenanigans of the ‘crazy people’.
Tim Davies.
Who will never, ever be forgotten.
And who (we discovered last night) had secret tunes on his mp3 player we’d have tortured him for, given half the chance.
To a great guy.
Our friend.
Rob’s best friend.
We love you and we miss you.
And you will never, ever be forgotten. X
Tim chose this song for his funeral. It played, beginning to end, as his body entered the chapel. We sat there for a very long time…
…and we thought…and we thought… and we thought…
I remember reading your sadness when Tim died honey. Of course he’s still with you, they never really go away. You have such lovely memories of your friend how could he be anywhere but with his friends and family? x
Magnificent tribute to your friend. Quite a song to choose, indeed.BR/BR/Thank you for sharing this with us. It was lovely.
At my mum’s best friend’s funeral last week I was talking to someone at the wake about the songs played at funerals. We both said there’s something soooo special about them; like they’re picked specifically because they represent someone. It’s such a careful choice, I think everyone can hold it together until the song comes on. I remember my auntie had Jack Johnson – Good People at the end of hers and I couldn’t even stay and listen to it all the way through because it was too emotional.
that#39;s a beautiful tribute, laney. how can you NOT remember someone so wonderful? you tend to keep them with you always. and i#39;m sure he knows how much you love amp; miss him.
That’s a great song, Laney, and a good way to remember Tim by.BR/BR/I’m afraid I don’t have one particular song like that for my son, except for everything by Pink Floyd. I have been avoiding playing them lately.BR/BR/It’s good that you had such a long and warm and emotion filled goodbye with Tim. That’s very special. Treasure that always.
What a touching memorium to Tim!BR/A poem that just reminds me BR/and hopefully you that those we miss are always with us.BR/BR/Do not stand at my grave and weep; BR/I am not there. I do not sleep. BR/I am a thousand winds that blow. BR/I am the diamond glints on snow. BR/I am the sunlight on ripened grain. BR/I am the gentle autumn rain. BR/When you awaken in the morning’s hush BR/I am the swift uplifting rush BR/Of quiet birds in circled flight. BR/I am the soft stars that shine at night. BR/Do not stand at my grave and cry; BR/I am not there. I did not die.BR/BR/XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Laney, this is a beautiful post. I can’t believe it has been a year. BR/BR/It is funny how a presence stays with you, isn’t it? And how someones death can affect YOUR life?BR/BR/I am thinking of you.BR/BR/xo
I can’t believe it’s a whole year, Laney. But what a lovely post and a very fitting tribute to a fabulous man. I have to stop. Tears are dripping onto the keyboard.
God bless xxBR/BR/I haven’t caught up with your last posts and I fully intend to do so this week. Do forgive me for being such a layabout!BR/BR/Take care,BR/CJ xx
Is it really a year? A wonderful tribute for your dear friend, who will always be with you. Its so hard to make sense of it all, so sad when someone is so young. Hold your memories close, time can’t take them away.
A very nice rememberance Laney. BR/I still feel a sadness over the loss of my best friend 26 years ago. Tim will stay with you forever, as it should be…
Thanks to everyone, for your lovely comments. x
I haven’t listened to the song yet; and I can’t remember what it was from last year either…BR/BR/I just know that it was perfect.BR/BR/I miss him for you.BR/BR/xx BR/BR/rn