Your Questions…My Answers

I’ve got enough stuff here for a book, lol, so I’m splitting it into sections… there’ll be more to come throughout the week. Thanks for keeping me busy this weekend!

Mike

Ok, first question; what made you start blogging?
Well, if you’ve been reading for a little while, you’ll know that I had a really crap year last year. I was pretty much housebound, very depressed, extremely bored, and lonely. I’d been reading other people’s blogs for a few weeks (trying to pass the hours of my never ending days), and then one day I came across Kristen’s blog. For some reason her words reached out to me, and I spent most of the day reading through her archives and nodding my head in agreement at a lot of her observations, (as well as shedding quite a few tears).
I’ve always loved writing: I’d already written a book (unpublished), had several others on the go and had a couple of online diaries…but there were still days when I was itching to write, yet didn’t have the desire or the words for any of those things. Blogging seemed like the obvious answer…there are no rules, no character developments or plots to work on, no guidelines to adhere to concerning language or content….it was really liberating for me. Also, it enabled me to kill two birds with one stone…it gave me an outlet, and it kept me connected with the outside world. Of course back then (March 2006), I had no idea how important it would become to me.
And secondly; What prompted you to pose naked on the internet? (Hope you don’t mind that question.) Am I allowed to have two questions or is that being a bit greedy? Lol.
You can ask as many questions as you’d like!
Well, after a few months of blogging, I started noticing more and more people participating in HNT. I‘ve always loved photography and really wanted to get involved, but was scared. Leigh felt the same way too and if I remember rightly, we kind of dared each other to take part. My first picture was just of my bare back and shoulders, but as the weeks went on I felt this huge responsibility to keep the readers happy and be a little more daring. That may sound a bit daft, but when you get 50 comments on a picture, and you know those 50 will be back the following Thursday, it kind of puts the pressure on – I’m pretty sure they weren’t clicking on my link to see a shot of my toenail! Let’s just say that each week became more challenging for me, and I eventually reached the point where everyone had been so supportive of me that my confidence was going through the roof. I became far happier about the way I looked than I have ever been in my life. Posting that final picture…the full length body shot…was the ultimate challenge for me, it just seemed like the next obvious step to take. And I’m so glad that I did it.

Kristen

Ok……..I’ll venture into this question thing… hmmmmmmmmm…
What’s the one thing in your life you wish you could change? One regret?
Bugger.
Kristen, I’ve made so many mistakes in my life….I’ve done things I should never have done and have seen things I wish I’d never seen. I try to convince myself that all of these things have made me the person I am today, and that should be a good thing, right? But I know there are things I’ve experienced which have changed me for the worse. How do I pick one? Do I regret being involved with a violent man for 3 years and not having the strength to walk away? Do I regret stupid things I did as a teenager, which haunt me to this day? Do I regret being in the wrong place at the wrong time? Do I regret marrying my first husband? Do I regret all the opportunities which have come my way and I’ve ignored? How the hell do I choose?
I suppose my biggest regret is this. That through making all the choices I did, I’m the person you all see today… whereas if I’d made different choices, perhaps I may have been someone different….someone better?

Dan

Two questions, if I may.
Of course you may….
What do you dislike most about aging?
I hate the fact that life has gotten so complicated as I’ve aged, and it’s brought with it responsibilities which prevent me from being the person I really want to be. Twenty years ago, it all seemed so easy. I did what I wanted, when I wanted. I ate and slept when I wanted. I had dreams which were achievable because back then, it seemed anything and everything was achievable.
I hate it that as time’s gone by I’ve lost more and more people that I’ve cared about.
I hate that I’ve become more pessimistic. Cynical even.
I hate that my ass wouldn’t ever win that competition it did back in 1986!
I hate that my eyes look tired.
Most of all, I hate that this may actually be it….that things may never actually get any better than this. I hate knowing that the years are running out. I hate living with the knowledge that it may actually be downhill from hereon in.
What do you like most about aging?
I like the fact that I have a voice – an opinion which counts – and I can be heard without being dismissed for being young, stupid or naïve.
I like the knowledge I have now, and my compassion and empathy for others.
I like the fact that I’ve stepped right out of that desperate dating scene, and I can stand back and laugh (in a very nice way) at all those people who are convinced they need somebody else in their lives to make them feel complete. I’ve learned that if you’re with the wrong person it takes away, rather than adds anything to your life. No one in this world can ever make you complete. That has to come from the inside.
I like that I’ve learned a whole lot about who I am, what I’m about, and what matters to me the most.
I like the way a warm blanket and a hot water bottle feels when I’m poorly, and I can really appreciate how bloody amazing those inventions were.

Kitty’s Tiger.

Ok kiddo, here you go. The one thing you want to be remembered by when your time here on earth is done??
Bloody hell, I thought yours would be sexual questions, lol…
The most important of all is how my friends and family will think of me when I’m gone, and the person whose opinion matters to me the most is my son’s.
I hope he will forgive my mistakes, of which I‘ve made many. I hope he will come to understand why I did the things I did, why I’ve acted in particular ways, or made certain choices, which at the moment he may not fully understand. More than anything, I hope he’ll be able to weigh it all up, and think of me with love. If I achieve that, then honestly, I couldn’t ask for any more. I hope I’m thought of as a good person, but more importantly, as a mother who loved her son and did the very best she could for him.
One thing you could change about yourself. And Why?
I’m just too damn gullible.

Ellie

Why did you start blogging?
I think Mike sneaked that one in (although he emailed his!)
What have you gained from it?
I’ve learned to accept myself for how I look and who I am, warts an’ all. I’m not ashamed or embarrassed about myself in the way I used to be. My biggest and most daring step was admitting to you all last month what had actually been going on with me for the past year, and that I was convinced I was losing my mind. Believe me…that was far scarier than taking my clothes off. I’ve learned that it’s impossible to love yourself if you are embarrassed by who you are, and in revealing all of these parts of myself to you all, it really has been like taking off a mask which I’ve been wearing for most of my life.
And of course, I have also made some really great friends.
Have there been any negative consequences in your personal life?
None whatsoever. In fact I think it has widened the lines of communication between myself and my son and enabled us to learn things about one another which we otherwise may not ever have known.

Freddy

If a man is alone in the middle of a dense forest.
Totally alone.
Is he still in the wrong?
Of course he is! Man cannot hide from his conscience, no matter how dense the forest.